judge away!

i have 5 people. five little people, but people none-the-less.

i often mislabel them. i call them "my children." now, don't get me wrong. they came out of my body. they are ck's and my responsibility. they all have the last name kiefer. they look like each other. but, they are not one group, they are five individuals.

they don't all like the same things.  they like different food. some enjoy being in large groups. some like being alone. some like the arts. some like puzzles. some like math. some like being the center of attention. some don't ever want any attention.

and, if you don't know, leading five people is hard. can you imagine five of your most different friends, different genders, different ages, with a few who couldn't express themselves in words,  all living together under one roof ALL the time?  super tough.

but, this is what all moms do all the time.

it doesn't matter how many you have. you have been gifted from God other humans to help develop. and, as they develop, you develop. they have to learn the world and you have to help them navigate it.

and, while i'm in the middle of the most difficult task of my life (helping these people grow), i have hundreds of onlookers. they watch EVERY decision i make:
-do i breastfeed or bottle-feed?
-do i schedule my babies or let them schedule themselves?
-what are they wearing?
-how early were they potty trained?
-do they eat vegetables well?
-do they talk back?
-what kind of schooling did we choose?
-why do we have five children?
-why are they so close together?
and on and on...

not only do people watch my decisions, but they have their opinions.  and, they SHARE their opinions. constantly. every day. i am always being judged.

it was so hard at the beginning. how can i meet everyone's expectations? such a pressure to be perfect.

but, perfect is not possible. only my God is perfect and i fall short. WAY short. every day.

i do the best i can to love my children, love my husband, and most of all love my God. and, they are who i am responsible to.

so...JUDGE AWAY.  it's ok. i know you don't know what its like. until you have five kids 7 years old and under.

and, i will never know what its like to walk in your shoes. to be married to your husband. to work your job. to lead and guide the little people with their unique personalities in your care.

so, instead of looking at what should be done differently, i want to tell you...mom, you are doing AWESOME!! you are rocking it. your children are alive, they are thriving, and you care. you get up early, you stay up late, you pick out outfits, you make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you clean toilets, you love your husband, you wash clothes, you change diapers, you sit for hours feeding your babies putting off all the other things that need to be done, you clean up spit up, you clean up throw up, you drive all around kingdom come spending lots of money so your children can kick and throw balls, dance, sing, and play with other little people, you sit in the bathroom waiting to hear a tinkle and cheer and jump around at even a drop, your body has been stretched in every way, you break up fights, clean marker off the wall, AND endure the judgments of others when your little people act they way THEY want instead of the way YOU want.  You are SIMPLY AMAZING!

on this mother's day weekend, as mom's let's make a pact:

We, as the leaders of our little people, won't be affected by the judgments of others (or get mad about it) and we will be the biggest cheerleaders for one another.  

We need each other. We don't need to compare or "one up" each other.  Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt. We need to hear that we are doing great.  Let's learn from each other and not tear each other down.  If you notice a mom doing something better than you, don't get insecure. Praise her and institute that in your family. If you see a mom doing something you would never do, pray for her and encourage her. We don't know what she is going through.

Are you in?

life is too hard to fight anyone--especially yourself.

so, here's to celebrating the best and most overworked leaders on the planets...Happy Mother's Day, awesome woman!