i'm sitting here in the middle of several loads of laundry and i had to pause to take it all in.
as i just finished a mixed load and piled it on the floor, i sat down beside it & started folding. i pull out my husband's jeans from nordstrom, then my charlie's lightning mcqueen underwear from target, then my zekey's snowman fleece footie pjs from children's place, i was overtaken with such happiness. they are so amazing & different. different styles, different likes, different things that make them who they are.
earlier today, i looked at charlie, and i said, "i love you, my boy." he looked back at me and said with such sincerity, "i love you, my mommy."
later, i was sitting feeding sophia and she looked up and smiled at me. then i got a text from my charles saying, "love your beautiful face...daydreaming about it."
every mom needs days like this. it is God reaching into my world of usual-utter-beautiful-chaos and saying "i see you. you are important to me & to your family. i love you."
most days are like yesterday. i have a list several pages long of things i need to get done. the husband is at work. the children are rebelling against nap. after getting them calm, i sit to feed the overly tired, hungry baby girl fully expecting her to take a long delicious nap, but instead she falls asleep in my arms and cries every time i lay her down. after 2.5 hours & 8 tries, i'm utterly frustrated & then i hear my boys wake up. i didn't get a single thing done & then i remember the meat that i need to cook for dinner is still in the deep freezer. ug. by that time, baby girl is so exhausted, every time i set her down she screams like someone is hurting her, very badly. when i was at the last straw, my knight walked in the door and swept little girl into his arms and took her to the grocery store to complete one thing on my list for me.
that is what most days are like, for me. there is grace in them, but they are stretching & challenging. and, i have been so stretched lately that i barely have time to shower, let alone blog (that's where i have been).
then, there are days like this where every look from my children makes my eyes tear up with joy. they really are such gifts. i was entrusted with these four gorgeous faces, strong wills to shape, & little bodies to love until they explode with love on others.
our verse to memorize with the kids for this week is: revelation 4:11 "you are worthy, our Lord & God, to receive glory & honor & power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created & have their being." He is worthy. in my hardest moments when i think my soul is collapsing & in my highest moments. He created me, He knows me, He has me. and, He created these beautiful souls that look at me and call me 'mommy.' they make me who i am. i am what i am today because of them. they make me better. they make me stronger. they make me more loving. and, for that, i love them & Him all the more.
these moments of complete joy & satisfaction don't happen very much, especially in the midst of folding laundry. but, today, as in rains outside & i have coffee, and as i fold laundry, i couldn't be happier.
