what about me?

week 3: psalm 107:1 "give thanks to the Lord for he is good. his love endures forever."

as i wrote last week, intentional mommy-ing, we have the ability to help form our babies...their thoughts, their actions, their patterns.

but, as adults, we also have the ability to change the way we think.

sometimes, i look at my life, and think "what have i done?" not like in the deep sense "what have i done with my life that makes a difference?" but more of a "oh my goodness. what was i thinking having 4 little humans in 5 years?"

don't get me wrong. i love my life. and, i definitely love my children more than life. more than my life. i have to. if i don't, my soul would die.

when i was single (& even newly married), i could do anything i wanted. i mean ANYTHING. it is crazy to me now...don't feel like cooking "let's go to dinner!" or sitting on the couch & decide "let's go see a movie!" and jump up and do it. or call a friend & just go over to their house. no sitters, no forethought, no packing snacks or extra diapers. any hour of the day.

now, i can't even imagine it. did i really use to live like that?

but, as i've been mommy-ing for 5 years (not long at all...but having a 5 year old is different than a baby, for sure), i know that being thankful is a key to getting you through.

up all night with a baby who can't breathe? "thank you, Lord, that i can hold my child in my arms. and, thank you, for a baby is normally healthy."

have a child who throws a fit in the mall & embarrasses the heck out of you? "thank you, Lord, for a child who can think & make decisions about what he wants (even though its making me crazy right now)."

bedtime routine is taking forever one particular night? "thank You, that we have beds to put our children in & toothbrushes & books." (soooo many don't, even around the corner, so this in particular always changes me.)

thankfulness changes my attitude. "give thanks to the Lord for he is good. his love endures forever."

and, as i am thankful, it changes my heart. as my heart changes, i can endure just a little longer with whatever scenario is demanding all of my strength. and, as that happens, my love grows. and, i can see into the heart of God just a wee bit more.

after all, he is constantly doing that for me. "his love endures forever."